You know that moment when you realise you haven't done the one thing that makes you feel truly alive in weeks?
Maybe it's:
- your morning walk
- your journaling practice
- that yoga class that leaves you feeling radiant and grounded
- the hobby that used to light you up
And yet, somehow, it's the first thing to disappear when life gets full.
I see this pattern all the time with the leaders I work with. High-achievers who know what nourishes them, who understand the power of rhythm and ritual, but who still find themselves running on fumes, wondering how they got here again.
So why do we do this?
Why do we stop doing what makes us feel good, even when we know better?
Let me walk you through what's really happening and, more importantly, how to break the cycle.
The Nervous System Shutdown
Here's what most people don't realise: when you're stressed, your nervous system isn't just making you feel anxious or overwhelmed. It can actively shut down your ability to experience pleasure.
In psychology, this can show up as anhedonia (a reduced capacity to feel joy in activities that once made you feel alive). And it's not a character flaw.
It's your body's way of protecting you.
When you're in survival mode (juggling deadlines, people-pleasing, trying to keep all the plates spinning), your brain decides that pleasure is a luxury you can't afford.
So:
- it numbs you out
- it turns down your capacity to feel the good stuff
- it avoids sensation because feeling anything can feel too risky right now
This is why the morning routine that used to centre you suddenly feels like "just one more thing".
It's why the creative project that once energised you now feels like a chore.
Your nervous system has literally turned down the dial on joy as a coping mechanism.
But here's the kicker: the things you're dropping?
- they're not "extras"
- they're your anchors
- they're often the very practices that stop you spiralling deeper
The Self-Sabotage Spiral
Once you stop doing what nourishes you, a vicious cycle kicks in:
- you feel more stressed, so you drop your grounding practices
- you feel more isolated, so you cancel plans with friends
- you feel more depleted, so you skip the movement that normally gives you energy
And then you feel worse.
Which makes it even harder to reconnect with the things that would actually help you feel alive again.
I've watched brilliant, capable women get stuck in this loop for months, sometimes years. Not because they're lazy or lacking discipline, but because their inner landscape has become so dysregulated that their body genuinely can't access motivation or pleasure in the same way.
Suddenly:
- the walks feel pointless
- the self-care feels performative
- the joy feels unreachable
And so they just… stop trying.
What's Really Going On
Let me be clear: this isn't about willpower. It's about your nervous system, your energy, and the stories you're telling yourself about what you "should" be able to handle.
Here's what I've learned, both in my own journey and in working with hundreds of leaders:
You're not broken. You're flooded.
When your nervous system is constantly activated (work stress, emotional labour, the relentless pace of modern life), it can't easily access the felt sense of being safe enough to:
- rest
- play
- experience pleasure
Your body gets stuck in hypervigilance, scanning for threats, bracing for the next demand.
And in that state, the idea of slowing down, or doing something purely because it feels nourishing, doesn't compute.
This is why you can know intellectually that you need a break, but still find yourself unable to actually take one.
It's not a knowledge problem. It's a nervous system problem.
The Radical Step Back
So how do you break the cycle?
Not by adding more to your plate. Not by forcing yourself to "just do it". And definitely not by beating yourself up for falling off track.
You break the cycle by doing something that feels almost too simple: you take one radically small step back towards pleasure.
Not a complete life overhaul. Not a 30-day challenge. Not a new productivity system.
Just one tiny thing that helps your nervous system remember what it feels like to exhale.
Here's What That Looks Like:
1. Start with what feels easiest, not what feels most "productive"
Try something tiny and doable, like:
- two minutes of stretching before bed
- listening to your favourite song on the drive home
- saying no to one thing this week so you have an evening to yourself
The goal isn't to fix everything. It's to give your body a taste of what nourishment feels like again.
2. Focus on the feeling, not the outcome
This isn't about ticking boxes or proving you're doing "self-care". It's about reconnecting with the sensations in your body that tell you:
- you're alive
- you're safe
- you're allowed to feel good
Ask yourself:
- What would help me feel more radiant today?
- What would help me feel more joyful?
- What would make me feel like I'm breathing fully again?
3. Notice when you're about to drop it, and choose differently
Here's the moment of transformation: when you feel the urge to skip the thing that nourishes you, pause.
Notice the story your brain is telling you:
- "I don't have time."
- "It won't make a difference."
- "I'll do it tomorrow."
And then, just this once, choose the thing that helps you feel alive instead.
Not because you have to. Not because you should. But because you deserve to feel joyful in your own life.
The Shift From Depletion to Radiance
I'll be honest with you: this work isn't always easy. Because it requires you to prioritise yourself in a world that's constantly asking you to put yourself last.
But here's what I know to be true: your energy is your edge. And when you learn to protect it, to nourish it, to come back to it again and again, everything shifts.
- You stop running on fumes.
- You stop feeling like you're barely holding it together.
- You start moving through life with a quiet, grounded confidence that doesn't need to shout to be felt.
You become consistent, not because you're white-knuckling your way through, but because the rhythms you've built actually feel nourishing.
- Like an exhale.
- Like coming home to yourself.
This is what I call a "limitless" life. Not the hustle-culture version where you squeeze more and more into every day, but the version where you feel so deeply aligned, so resourced, so alive in your own body that you can show up fully without burning out.
Breaking the Cycle, Together
If this resonates with you, I want you to know: you're not alone in this. And you don't have to figure it out by yourself.
I work with women just like you: leaders, visionaries, high-achievers who are ready to step off the hamster wheel and into a life that feels as joyful as it looks on paper.
Whether that's through 1:1 coaching, where we dive deep into your unique patterns and nervous system, or through one of my Rest & Rise Retreats, where you get the space and support to truly reset, I'm here to help you come back to yourself.
The Early Bird discount for our June and September retreats ends on March 6th, 2026. Don't miss the chance to reclaim your vibrant energy.
Because you deserve to feel alive. Not someday. Not when everything's "sorted." Now.
Let's work together to break the cycle and create a life where joy isn't the thing you're chasing: it's the foundation you're building from.
Ready to reconnect with what makes you feel radiant? Get in touch here: caroline@carolinemasoncoaching.co.uk and let's talk about what support would feel most nourishing for you right now.
