✨ 60-second read | Part 2 of 5: The Heroine's Journey Series
There’s a particular kind of tired that doesn’t show up on your face.
It’s the exhaustion of waiting:
- waiting to be invited
- waiting to be told you’re allowed to take up space
- waiting for a permission slip that says: “Yes, you can be fully yourself here.”
I see this in almost every woman I coach. Brilliant, capable, deeply intuitive women who’ve learned to ask “Am I allowed?” before they speak, rest, or trust their knowing.
The “Am I Allowed?” Myth
Here’s the truth: the system wasn’t built for intuitive leaders.
It wasn’t designed for people who:
- feel the undercurrents
- notice what isn’t being said
- lead with heart and head
So if you’ve been waiting for an invitation, I want to gently tell you: it may never come. Not because you’re not worthy, but because the room was designed for a different kind of leadership.
And over time, that can make you:
- shrink
- go quiet
- become more “acceptable”
The Doorway Dilemma
My colleague Natalia recently shared a story that stopped me in my tracks. She described a leader who would literally hover by the meeting room door, even when the agenda was her own project, waiting for a formal “wave in” because she didn’t want to “presume” she belonged.
I knew that feeling instantly. Because honestly? I’ve stood at that door too. We’ve been conditioned to believe that unless we have a written invitation, we are “intruding”.
Fetch your own chair
Here is the shift we need to make:
- You don’t need permission to belong.
- You fetch your own chair.
- If there isn’t a seat for you, you don’t contort yourself to fit. You pull up a chair and sit down.
This isn’t about being pushy. It’s about recognising you’ve been waiting for validation from a system that doesn’t know what to do with women who lead differently.
So we practise something new:
- Stop asking.
- Stop shrinking.
- Stop performing a version of professionalism that costs you your power.
A quick check-in
Ask yourself:
- Where am I still waiting for permission to take up space?
- What part of me am I leaving at the door because I’m afraid it’s “too much”?
- What would change if I simply… fetched my own chair?
Maybe it’s speaking up without apologising. Maybe it’s setting a boundary without over-explaining. Maybe it’s trusting your gut when everyone else is citing data.
Whatever it is, I promise you: the permission you’re waiting for is already yours.
What’s next
In Part 3, we’ll go deeper into what I call “The Corporate Amputation”: the parts of yourself you’ve been trained to leave behind, and why bringing them back isn’t just healing, it’s leadership.
Until then: pull up your chair. You’ve earned it.
If you're ready to stop shrinking and start leading from your full self, let's work together. I offer one-to-one coaching designed specifically for women who are done playing small. Book a call, and let's fetch your chair together.
